A New Resolution And… A Warning

Friends, I hope you find the following correspondence helpful. It was sent to me by my good friend Mike Jabbur. Following is a gentle warning from yours truly. Namaste

CALMNESS IN OUR LIVES

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we
could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple
advice heard on the Oprah show, you too can find inner peace.
Dr. Oz proclaimed, ‘The way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you have started and have never finished.’

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and
hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I
finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Tequila, a package
of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of
the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no
idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Pass this on if you know anyone you think might be in need of
inner peace.

My response…

In the spirit of calmness described above, I attempted to achieve that sense of inner peace found by finishing things that I have started. This exercise began well…first, I finished a bar of 77% dark chocolate. “Chocolove”, to be precise. Immediately a feeling of calm permeated my being. So I moved on. I decided to finish a bag of kettle chips but half way through realized that I was about to run out of french onion dip. I became anxious. To restore my beginning level of inner peace, I reached for my favorite drink. Those who know me know that I do not drink much or often. When I do, my drink of choice is triple sec and vodka. Touch of lime. A big girl’s drink. Well, after two, it dawned on me that while the bottle of triple sec was emptied, the vodka remained 2 and 3/8 inches full. I measured.

I am so thankful for the grocery store that is now in downtown Kansas City. I envision a life of constant “runs” to the store. First for triple sec and french onion dip then, of course, for vodka and kettle chips. Always the same two trips, week after week. Always on a quest achieve the balance, that elusive inner peace. I am only hoping that this ritual, in itself…triple sec/dip, vodka/chips week after week, trip upon trip, will establish a seductive mantra that will lull me into an inner peace that is something close to actually finishing a chocolate bar.

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